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The Bureau Astrology Desk holds no certification from the Indian Council of Astrological Sciences and does not wish to. The following is satire.

Mithuna Rashifal — May 25, 2026

Mithuna · ♊ · Jun 15 – Jul 16 · Vayu · Budha

A developing news story will require immediate P.I.B. intervention to provide 'necessary context' and 'clarifications.' Prepare to issue multiple press releases that subtly reframe the initial narrative to align with official positions.

Journalist queries will focus on the implicit rather than the explicit, requiring artful dodging and redirection to the pre-approved talking points. Emphasise stability and ongoing progress in all responses.

By day's end, the intended official version of events will be widely disseminated, effectively overshadowing the initial, less favourable, reports, achieved through strategic timing and repetition.

Lucky Committee

The Rapid Response Media Strategy Cell (Public Perception Management Unit)

Lucky Number

7 (the number of times a single quote will be attributed to 'official sources' without further detail)

Lucky Colour

The off-white of a pending RTI response

Auspicious Window

03:10 PM (just after the news cycle's primary deadline has passed)

Inauspicious Window

09:00 AM - 10:00 AM (Morning Press Briefing)

Compatible Today

Simha (The ribbon-cutting Chief Minister) · Tula (The Standing Committee chair)

What To Avoid

Do not allow Kumbha (The RTI activist) access to the draft press release prior to final approvals.

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