NEW DELHI — Expressing profound commitment to gender equality, political leaders across the spectrum congratulated themselves this week for passing a 33% women's reservation mandate specifically engineered to not threaten any sitting male MP's seat until at least 2029.

The legislation, widely celebrated as a historic victory, successfully binds its own execution to a future census and a subsequent delimitation exercise. A parliamentary spokesperson noted this represents a major procedural advancement over earlier iterations introduced in 1996 and 2008, which relied on the much messier tactic of simply letting the bill lapse through parliamentary dissolution.

"Our current Lok Sabha sits at 15.2% female representation, which leaves plenty of room for future enthusiasm," said a senior party strategist, explaining the policy while exclusively distributing upcoming election tickets to male incumbents. "By passing the bill in 2023 but deferring it to the next decade, we achieved the ultimate legislative triumph: universal acclaim for dismantling patriarchal power structures without the slightest risk of actually doing so."

The strategist assured reporters that the indefinite waiting period is a matter of strict constitutional necessity, before carefully filing the 2023 delay justification into a cabinet drawer visibly labeled '1996.'