CHANDIGARH — Following protests over a state recruitment board recently dubbed a "rejection commission for local youth," authorities defended their "completely foolproof" exam system on Friday, arguing that its failure to fill vacancies is the ultimate proof of its integrity.

Officials pointed to the recent recruitment drive for English Assistant Professors, where the foolproof system successfully prevented all but 151 candidates from clearing 613 open vacancies, and ensured only a single applicant was hired across 60 reserved posts. "If the process were compromised, we might have accidentally hired enough teachers," a commission spokesperson explained, raising his voice over the sound of high-pressure water cannons being deployed against unemployed demonstrators outside. "Instead, we have guaranteed a fair and transparent process wherein almost nobody gets a job."

The decisive aquatic response to regional grievances contrasted with parallel administrative efforts in Delhi, where national authorities maintained a calmer posture while reviewing allegations of systematic compromises and paper leaks in the recent NEET-UG exams.

"We are incredibly proud of our track record," the state official added, leafing through a report showing 22% of unreserved gazetted officer posts between 2022 and 2024 went to candidates from outside the state. "And we have plenty of water left for any local youth who requires further clarification on our transparency."